Disassociated Press:
"I am so very honored that you have chosen Obama Killed Scalia With A Frozen Dart Gun as Best Conspiracy Theory of 2016! It warms my heart to know that you like me! You really like me!"
- Alex Jones, receiving his golden Marty (aka The Martian Award For Conspiratorial Excellence)
Jones' win capped eight years of amazingly hysterical theories from Obama being a Lizard King to Antonin Scalia's death.
Caption: A Crying Alex Jones? The Martys have become waaay too apolitical
Yes the Academy Awards had something to do with this article, primarily in opining: what if they gave out awards for such lunacy?
This year's conspiracy theories, especially about Obama (who else?) certainly deserve recognition.
The current frontrunner:
The National Rifle Association has come out since Scalia's death to warn that the 2nd Amendment is now in danger. With Barack Obama reportedly willing to spend billions of dollars in 2017 to take away Americans rights we have to ask, did the Obama administration have Judge Scalia killed? It surely wouldn't be the 1st time govt had political opposition killed.By a poisoned frozen dart no less.
UPDATE: Obama killed Scalia as a human sacrifice for a pagan ritual. Pastor Rick Wiles says so!
It makes no difference that Scalia's own son and doctor declared his death to be of natural causes and that conspiracy theories were "a hurtful distraction" from his father's legacy. The conspiracy theorists are now having a field day.
You just get used to this, ‘Scalia found, it’s natural, nothing going on here, he just died naturally,’” Jones said. “And you’re like, ‘Whoa. Red flag.’ Then you realize, Obama is one vote away from being able to ban guns, open the borders and actually have the court engage in its agenda and now Scalia dies. I mean, this is hard core.”
So what makes President Obama the target of these conspiracies? The reasons vary, but the fact is that the President is arguably the most conspiracy theory-ridden person in history. The Mother Jones article and graph Chart: Almost Every Obama Conspiracy Theory Ever cites 34 theories in just his first term.
- Obama is a secret Muslim and was sworn in for his first term on a Quran. If he did, don't you think Pastor Rick Warren would have noticed it? The Quran is not as hefty in volume as the Bible. But wait: it must have been blasphemously HIDDEN in a bible!!
- Obama will have turned the U.S. into a Muslim nation by allowing 100 million Muslims into the country. That means that every fourth person you see is really Muslim, making at least five of the Duggar family suspect.
- Obama married his college roommate, a man from Pakistan. The photo him of him sitting in his roommate's lap should be proof enough!!
- Obama is the son of Malcolm X. This is a theory provided by that wonderful Muslim-lover, Pam Geller.
- Obama had a ghostwriter for everything he wrote, including the love letters to his college sweetheart. Of course, they were written by chum Roger Ayles who wrote Obama's book "Dreams From My Father."
- Obama caused Hurricane Sandy using a Pentagon weather modification project through HAARP. He wanted to look much better in his response than George Bush during Katrina - as if that wouldn't have been easy.
- Rev. Jeremiah Wright helped Obama cover up his homosexuality. It seems the astute reverend offered instruction to black gays on how to live closeted lives while still performing their perverted homosexual activities. This gem comes, of course, from World Net Daily, so it just has to be trusted!
- As a teenager, Obama was teleported to Mars! Real "time travelers" report seeing him on Mars. He was serving as a guinea pig in a top-secret CIA mission to colonize the planet. As one wag put it, he was really trying to socialize Martian medicine.
- Obama is really a lizard king. Truly! It's all there in one astounding book: The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer. It seems that there are secret codes hidden in the Bible (oh, that odious book!) that point to Obama and his lizard ancestry and his plans to take over the entire galaxy!
And the most durable of conspiracy theories: Obama is the Antichrist! The Proof? Watch this video and be amazed!!
Obama and Guns
It's no secret that the President doesn't like guns very much and that he is for gun control. The NRA hates him, of course and never denounces the the conspiracy nuts, but in the gun control issue, what is the REAL conspiracy?
There are people who oppose Obama because they actually LIKE guns, no, they LOVE guns. Guns rule! They are people who LOVE killing things. Few guns are actually bought for protection (although the NRA says that most guns are). Gun nuts love guns because they like shooting at things, obliterating their targets with as many bullets as possible. "Clean" one-shot killings are only performed on birds the gunman eventually eats (avoiding picking out bullets from the meat) or on fur-bearing animals so as to make the pelt more saleable. Shooting things has not been considered a sport, since "sport" implies that the bird or animal being shot at might have a chance to escape being blown to smithereens. Today's guns, however, make that "chance" nearly impossible.
Gun owners worship their firearms and their favorite God is Rambo Jesus (like the Jesus of Gen. Jerry Boykin who says that He will return carrying an AR-15). They even like shooting Santa Claus. And remember, Pastor Gary Cass says "You can't be Christian if you don't own a gun"*
Conspiracy: the gun nuts want to rule the world with their guns... and their Bibles, just like Obama said they would.
The Top Conspiracy Theorists Of All Time
When are Alex Jones and Glenn Beck going to get married? They think so much alike, it's scary. And they both live on conspiracy theories concerning Obama and liberals.**
Alex Jones: Obama Murdered Justice Scalia and Donald Trump May Be Next
Glenn Beck: attributes Scalia's death as God's warning to Americans:
“I don’t want to assume that I know his plan, but I will tell you this,” he said, transitioning to speak from the perspective of God. “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost. You now have lost your liberty.’”
and then there's Michele Bachmann: since Obama is the Antichrist, he is capable of anything.
January 20, 2017
When Obama relinquishes office, what will these people do? Will the Obama Conspiracy Awards be given out when it's the end of our world? As Michele Bachmann suggests, with Obama becoming the Secretary General of the United Nations and ushering us all into Armaggedon, he ...
The end of our world, or (hopefully) the end of theirs?
* As opposed to Pope Francis who says that gun owners are hypocrites and not Christians! Cass and his ilk REALLY hate Francis!
**Maybe they really are married and have a conspiracy of their own: producing enough conspiracy theories to confuse everyone, making them extremely paranoid, enabling them to take over the world!
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