Monday, July 25, 2016

The Next Deadly Pandemic: Rheumatoid Trumpitis

Major Symptom:

RHEUMATOID TRUMPITIS  causes a chronic pain in the ass while simultaneously making the afflicted person a pain in the ass. 

Forget AIDS! Forget Ebola! Forget the Black Plague! The worst pandemic to hit mankind is the deadly ...


Never in the history of the world has there been such a devastating disease! And of all the world's plagues, this one is most assuredly brought on by man himself and not by God - Pat Robertson said so. 

Causes: nature or nurture?

It would s difficult cult to determine whether or not RT is hereditary or developed. We do know that it can be transmitted once it develops to a certain stage. Signs of the dreaded disease have occurred in infants (having a predeliction for reflective, shiny objects, usually gold plated).

Whatever the cause, RT is considered incurable, according to Dr OZ - and who is always right (unfortunately, a primary symptom of the disease) and may slowly but surely take over the world.

And while the cause of this particular condition is not known, what is evident is that it is spread by sheer force of obnoxious ego.

Missionaries have been sent to various third world countries, blaming the pandemic on Hillary Rodham Clinton and, of course, the gays. They tell the people that merely watching the two on television, in political speeches and performing in musicals such as Oklahoma!, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and South Pacific can trigger the condition.* Africa has been put on alert, allowing no one into its countries sporting rainbow-patterned shirts and foreigners whose initials are HRC. 

The afflicted suffer from:

Symptom #2: The affinity to draw crowds of people who have paintings of clowns on black velvet in their trailer's loving room.
#3: Poor spelling and grammar - even in Spanish
#4: The belief that Donald Trump is not Elmer Gantry but a true savior. 
#5: a tendency to confuse Donald trump with David Duke. 
#6: Dining on tacos everyday while espousing affinity of Hispanics
#7: Keeping 1000 SP 18KT Gold Premium Metalic spray paint on hand - for that decorator urge, just in case.
#8: Asking for passports of everyone approaching them within a 125' radius. 
#9: Referring to all daughters as having a "rack"
#10: Having actually subscribed to Sarah Palin's Channel - after it went defunct.
#11: Ending all arguments with "LOSER!"
#12: Believing that Donald Trump will obliterate left-wing Christian persecution (as if it actually existed)
#13: Swirling ten hairs atop their head for that cotton candy look (better done when bald). 
#14: Unrelenting narcissism causing motor accidents (looking only into rear view mirrors) 
#15: Claiming to have the worlds greatest memory (unless making a deposition in a lawsuit )
#16: Refusing to divulge your financial status while telling people you're obscenely rich. 
#17: Supporting small businesses by not paying for their services
#18: Having the I.Q. equivalent to that of a dead battery.

The animosity created by the disease will definitely result in wars, with everyone thinking that they are the center of the universe and should be listened to. The cacophony of bloviating alone will cause deafness. And while production of mirrors will be at an all time high, the supply will not meet the demand - violence and looting will erupt. Shards of broken mirrors will henceforth be kept in elaborate reliquaries. 

Although there is no known cure, the preventative - or PreP - exists, but it is severe:

Tuning out all media until after November 8, 2016.

Good Luck.

*The same goes for every SNL sketch ever written as well as every Stephen Colbert appearance.

Monday, March 7, 2016

"He STILL Killed Scalia!" The Obama Conspiracy Machine: Will It Continue After The Awards Are Handed Out?

Disassociated Press:

"I am so very honored that you have chosen Obama Killed Scalia With A Frozen Dart Gun as Best Conspiracy Theory of 2016! It warms my heart to know that you like me! You really like me!" 
- Alex Jones, receiving his golden Marty (aka The Martian Award For Conspiratorial Excellence)
Jones' win capped eight years of amazingly hysterical theories from Obama being a Lizard King to Antonin Scalia's death. 

Caption: A Crying Alex Jones? The Martys have become waaay too apolitical 

Yes the Academy Awards had something to do with this article, primarily in opining: what if they gave out awards for such lunacy? 

This year's conspiracy theories, especially about Obama (who else?) certainly deserve recognition.

The current frontrunner:

The National Rifle Association has come out since Scalia's death to warn that the 2nd Amendment is now in danger. With Barack Obama reportedly willing to spend billions of dollars in 2017 to take away Americans rights we have to ask, did the Obama administration have Judge Scalia killed? It surely wouldn't be the 1st time govt had political opposition killed.
By a poisoned frozen dart no less.

UPDATE: Obama killed Scalia as a human sacrifice for a pagan ritual. Pastor Rick Wiles says so!

It makes no difference that Scalia's own son and doctor declared his death to be of natural causes and that conspiracy theories were "a hurtful distraction" from his  father's legacy. The conspiracy theorists are now having a field day. 

You just get used to this, ‘Scalia found, it’s natural, nothing going on here, he just died naturally,’” Jones said. “And you’re like, ‘Whoa. Red flag.’ Then you realize, Obama is one vote away from being able to ban guns, open the borders and actually have the court engage in its agenda and now Scalia dies. I mean, this is hard core.”

So what makes President Obama the target of these conspiracies? The reasons vary, but the fact is that the President is arguably the most conspiracy theory-ridden person in history. The Mother Jones article and graph Chart: Almost Every Obama Conspiracy Theory Ever cites 34 theories in just his first term.
Most of these bizarre and inane theories still carry on to this day:

- Obama is a secret Muslim and was sworn in for his first term on a Quran. If he did, don't you think Pastor Rick Warren would have noticed it? The Quran is not as hefty in volume as the Bible. But wait: it must have been blasphemously HIDDEN in a bible!!

- Obama will have turned the U.S. into a Muslim nation by allowing 100 million Muslims into the country. That means that every fourth person you see is really Muslim, making at least five of the Duggar family suspect.

- Obama married his college roommate, a man from Pakistan. The photo him of him sitting in his roommate's lap should be proof enough!!

 - Obama is the son of Malcolm X. This is a theory provided by that wonderful Muslim-lover, Pam Geller.

- Obama had a ghostwriter for everything he wrote, including the love letters to his college sweetheart. Of course, they were written by chum Roger Ayles who wrote Obama's book "Dreams From My Father."

- Obama caused Hurricane Sandy using a Pentagon weather modification project through HAARP. He wanted to look much better in his response than George Bush during Katrina - as if that wouldn't have been easy. 

- Rev. Jeremiah Wright helped Obama cover up his homosexuality. It seems the astute reverend offered instruction to black gays on how to live closeted lives while still performing their perverted homosexual activities. This gem comes, of course, from World Net Daily, so it just has to be trusted!

- As a teenager, Obama was teleported to Mars! Real "time travelers" report seeing him on Mars. He was serving as a guinea pig in a top-secret CIA mission to colonize the planet. As one wag put it, he was really trying to socialize Martian medicine.

- Obama is really a lizard king. Truly! It's all there in one astounding book: The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer. It seems that there are secret codes hidden in the Bible (oh, that odious book!) that point to Obama and his lizard ancestry and his plans to take over the entire galaxy!

And the most durable of conspiracy theories: Obama is the Antichrist! The Proof? Watch this video and be amazed!!

Obama and Guns

It's no secret that the President doesn't like guns very much and that he is for gun control. The NRA hates him, of course and never denounces the the conspiracy nuts, but in the gun control issue, what is the REAL conspiracy? 

There are people who oppose Obama because they actually LIKE guns, no, they LOVE guns. Guns rule! They are people who LOVE killing things. Few guns are actually bought for protection (although the NRA says that most guns are). Gun nuts love guns because they like shooting at things, obliterating their targets with as many bullets as possible. "Clean" one-shot killings are only performed on birds the gunman eventually eats (avoiding picking out bullets from the meat) or on fur-bearing animals so as to make the pelt more saleable. Shooting things has not been considered a sport, since "sport" implies that the bird or animal being shot at might have a chance to escape being blown to smithereens. Today's guns, however, make that "chance" nearly impossible. 

Gun owners worship their firearms and their favorite God is Rambo Jesus (like the Jesus of Gen. Jerry Boykin who says that He will return carrying an AR-15). They even like shooting Santa Claus. And remember, Pastor Gary Cass says "You can't be Christian if you don't own a gun"*

Conspiracy: the gun nuts want to rule the world with their guns... and their Bibles, just like Obama said they would.

The Top Conspiracy Theorists Of All Time

When are Alex Jones and Glenn Beck going to get married? They think so much alike, it's scary. And they both live on conspiracy theories concerning Obama and liberals.**

Alex Jones: Obama Murdered Justice Scalia and Donald Trump May Be Next

Glenn Beck: attributes Scalia's death as God's warning to Americans:
“I don’t want to assume that I know his plan, but I will tell you this,” he said, transitioning to speak from the perspective of God. “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost. You now have lost your liberty.’”

and then there's Michele Bachmann: since Obama is the Antichrist, he is capable of anything. 

January 20, 2017

When Obama relinquishes office, what will these people do? Will the Obama Conspiracy Awards be given out when it's the end of our world? As Michele  Bachmann suggests, with Obama becoming the Secretary General of the United Nations and ushering us all into Armaggedon, he ...

The end of our world, or (hopefully) the end of theirs?

* As opposed to Pope Francis who says that gun owners are hypocrites and not Christians! Cass and his ilk REALLY hate Francis!
**Maybe they really are married and have a conspiracy of their own: producing enough conspiracy theories to confuse everyone, making them extremely paranoid, enabling them to take over the world!

Trump As The Golden Calf: How Many Angry, Old, White And Classless Rubes Are There?

UPDATE: Trump's base has now been solidified: the latest endorsement is from ...

The National Enquirer


“I understand and respect the people who did vote for him. I know many of them. They are not racists or crazies or stupid. While many people call The Donald a fraud or a con-man, there are a lot of voters out there who think they have been conned election after election.” - Carly Fiorina, CPAC - Mar.4)
Ahem, tell that to the rest of the country, Carly. Part of the country that voted George W. Bush into office TWICE, is now making the rest of America dumbfounded with its support of Trump. Trump has now become an obnoxious golden calf: some people's desperate attempt to create a new authority, a new idol because they can't understand America itself and stand stewing in their isolation and (frankly) their stupidity.

It's Follow THE MOUTH, not Follow the Leader. 

Max Ehrenfreund of the Washington Post ...
"... spoke to a number of psychologists and came up with three key sources of Mr Trump's appeal. "We like people who talk big," he writes. "We like people who tell us that our problems are simple and easy to solve, even when they aren't. And we don't like people who don't look like us."
In other words, they'll take loudmouthed white con man "telling it like it is," but don't particularly know (or care) what "it" is. 

Trump Supporters: 

"I have faith that he will learn and develop the policies that will make America the superpower that we want it to be." 

"You get what he really believes in, even if everything that he says isn't what is the right thing exactly."

Unfortunately, Trump is not registering for a class in U.S. Presidency 101 and believes in nothing but himself. The loud Mouth, with all of its insults, crudities, contradictions and outright lies is LOUD. To his supporters, that's what counts. 
Trump Demographics 

The following poll numbers are culled from MSNBC, Real Clear Politics, YouGov, and (Public Policy Polling which is why some categories do not total 100. 

GENDER Male  - 58%
female - 42 %

Under - 30 2%
30-44 - 14%
45-64  - 50%
65+ - 34%


white - 91%


Under 50k - 33%

Under 100k - 72%
Over 100k - 28%
Over 100k - 11 %


High school degree or less - 43%
College or Postgraduate Degree - 19%

Conservative - 65%
Liberal or Moderate - 20%
Very Conservative  - 13%
Involved with Tea Party  - 32%
In Favor Trump's Ban on Muslims  - 82%
Believe President Obama is a Muslim - 66%
Think Obama Was Not Born in the US - 61%
In Favor of Bombing Agrabah  - 41%
Poor Agrabah. It's the fictional country of Disneys Aladdin. What's next? Annihilating Neverland?

While the polls don't give a clear "typical" Trump supporter, they do look predominantly like uneducated slobs (Demographics #1), angry old white men (Demographics #2) or just plain white trash (Demographics #3). Oh, then there's the evangelical group (Demographics #4)

The Way Things Are

It isn't that Trump's supporters don't have a grip on reality, it's just that they only have a grip on their own reality. The Mouth gives them what they want to hear in the most simplistic terms, keeps them isolated from what's happening in the rest of the country and that's just fine with them. So what if The Mouth has no diplomatic skills? So what if The Mouth has no experience in lawmaking whatsoever? So what if The Mouth might gild everything in the White House and put slot machines in the East Room? Who cares about all that? He's "telling it like it is." 

The reality is that they don't have a clue as to what "it" is. "It" involves experience - the biggest thing lacking in Trump. What if the board of directors of a company were so distrusting of executives, they would not hire an executive to run the company? Trump himself would never hire someone inexperienced (unless, of course, it was for Trump University). 

Another reality, Trump supporters: he has offended so many Americans, so many lawmakers, has gotten such bad publicity (e.g. Trump University class action law suit), that the delegates won in the primaries might change their minds at the last minute. Remember: after the first vote on the floor of the convention, delegates are free to vote for whomever they choose. The RNC could look like Trump- inspired circus clowns after the first contentious vote, hundreds of people shouting at each other, unfettered by their pledges to back Trump. 

Cowboy Diplomacy

Another point the polls make is that Trump supporters care not for any kind of diplomacy on the part of the President. George W. Bush's Cowboy Diplomacy ("Shoot first, ask questions later') has been embedded in their minds since 9/11. That's certainly a hit with the NRA, but with many other countries.

God Is On His Side

So as the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and radio and TV hosts like Rush Limbaugh, Greta Van Susteren, Bill O’Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and Sean Hannity ask why evangelicals support Trump – the answer can be found in that poll we did three decades ago. Trump is the “liberator” and “defender” they believe really will “Make America Great Again!”

Another unreasonable position for Trump supporters comes from the evangelicals: he is not the golden calf, but the Messiah, come to rescue them from the enemies of religious freedom. 

That's just what America needs: a crude, egotistical, loud-mouthed Messiah.

Monday, January 11, 2016

2016: Will It Go Down As History's Worst Year in Politics, Or The Most Entertaining?

Nine months of backstabbing, lies, hypocrisy, contempt, bad jokes and slander.

In other words, politics as usual. But with Donald Trump and the political Christian Right in the arena, 2016 may be more entertaining than usual.

I've often said that America has made an entertainment out of religion and a religion out of entertainment: take away all of our rights as American citizens, but never, ever even think of taking away our right to be entertained. References to entertainment pervade our daily lives, with politics always being referred to as a circus.

The trouble with political entertainment is that it lessens serious issues, makes them boring in comparison and therefore not worth thinking deeply about: they are reduced to simple platitudes that are digestible to mass consumption: abortion, environment, climate change, marriage equality, immigration, terrorism, gun control are all placed amongst bombast and spectacle, super expenditures on ad campaigns, stellar endorsements and awesome rallies plastered with flags and slogans and logos.

The Real Political Arenas: Twitter and Facebook

Today, what you tweet (and re-tweet) is just as important as what you say in a long-winded political speech. The number of "friends" and "followers" on Facebook are just as important as numbers in the polls. The impact of social media has been used by politicians in the past, but its usage in 2016 will be phenomenally important. Applause and cheering at political rallies may be immediate gratification, but so are "likes" and re-tweets.

The Polarity Of 2016: One Man's Hope Is Another Man's Despair

I tried to look up the phrase, but, to my surprise, I couldn't find it, or who might have said it. 

With the exception of "God's Ambulance Chasers" I'm not good at coining phrases, especially one that should have been coined at least two millennium ago. 

Anyway, the phrase sums up the future year for America. We've not seen such polarity for decades: Right Wing vs Left Wing, "No" vs "Yes", white vs black,  rich vs poor, Red vs Blue and ... Trump vs Hillary. Like some giant oxymoron, America manages to cancel itself out by being pro and anti everything

Of course, there are the "Nones", the "I don't knows," and the "Unaffiliated," but they don't stagnate the American landscape like the polarized. So 2016 may wind up being a massive tug-o-war with nobody winning or losing, but just feeling tired at the end.

Pardon me if, while I wish you all a Happy New Year, I sit this one out.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

A Wonderful Christmas Gift: Loving Where You Live, Living Where You Love, And A Hidden Garden In San Francisco

I got very tired posting about hatred during the Christmas Season, so here is my REAL Christmas sentiment.

The Gift That Makes A Difference in People's Lives.

Sometimes a gift can be for everyone and yourself at the same time. The garden I've planted/created for the people in our building (and now the whole complex of 3500 units) is like that. It helps give people joy, peace, serenity and cultivates a sense of wonder. 

Yes, it's spiritual: to the gardener as well as to the residents. It eschews secular meaning - humanist, yes, but not secular humanist. Not just a garden of pretty flowers and plants, but a space that draws the soul away from the rest of the world, closer to the Creator, into another, less troubled place.

Loving Where You Live

ParkMerced is a unique space in San Francisco with unique attributes - as well as unique problems. It is not considered "San Francisco": it has no "painted ladies", no hills, no homeless, no landmarks, no bars, no touristy attractions. Built in a 1948, it is a combination of small mock-Regency (read 50s) town homes set among minimalist concrete towers over 108 acres. It's "shopping center" is a strip mall consisting of one grocery*, a sports bar, a taqueria and a laundry. 

Oh, and a papa johns pizza. 

It is bordered by Lake Merced, SF State University and the freeway and because if its position, it is unfortunately tethered to MUNI's M metro line (M for "miserable"). Perched high enough for upper tower apartments to have a magnificent view of the ocean, the largest housing project west of the Mississippi touts its singularity. 

It's residents are a curious combination of students, elderly, a variety of ethnic groups with the emphasis on Chinese and Russian. At any given time, over 10,000 people live here, but the vast layout negates any form of city claustrophobia. 

Vegetation consists primarily of pine trees and "Pride of Madiera" echium. Visible fauna consists of residents' dogs (it is a rare dog heaven in San Francisco), coyotes, an occasional cat (so many indoors), a variety of birds including hawks, doves, seagulls, crows and a myriad number of sparrows. Invisible fauna consists primarily of underground gophers.

Pride of Madeira Echium

And individual plantings. 

Like mine. 

"It's not just a garden, it's a sanctuary, " said one neighbor. People meditate there. Kids come to see the echium-bush birdhouse and the "faerie portal". Some people start their mornings by gazing down on the hundreds of red acrylic rocks forming a glittering heart. 

The bejeweled Faerie Portal

Spurts of violence are rare, and it is a peaceful place where the exigencies of a conglomerate management and obscene cost of living are tolerated (those who have rent control are constantly suspicious of management that can get three times in rent from a new lessee).**

The management's talk of "quality of life" have been met with skepticism, but my own experience tending a (formerly unwarranted ) garden has been "we'd like to see more of that" and has bolstered my opinion.

"They're trying."

Living Where You Love - The Christmas Spirit All Year Round

It's not always easy to love where you live, you have to truly experience living your space and neighborhood with someone you love. The feeling at ParkMerced is more than live and let live. Even some of the students are (gasp!) courteous and acceptance of all lifestyles is the key. Gay couples are spread out among the ten towers. Same-sex couples are accepted, even welcomed. 

The motto of Good Will Toward Men is adhered to throughout the year.

Christmas in the garden is still a private affair known only to tower residents and, of course, the residents of the garden: the birds and spirits (in the form of "Faeries"). The gophers don't count; they are interlopers, opportunists that care only for lies beneath the ground. 

They have no aesthetics.

Peace and good will. One sadly aging Russian grandmother sits there for hours on end, the garden obviously giving her tranquil thoughts. Sometimes she talks to a friend - quietly, as if a raised voice would disturb the peace.

There is never an angry word heard near the garden. Children seem more respectful: this sanctuary has the power to quiet little ones.

The video below says much more about the Christmas spirit than mere words. The "Faeries" and their Portal will (hopefully) give you a "Merry Christmas" from the heart, and hope for a wondrous New Year.

* The grocery has instituted special meals for students and home-delivery for elderly customers.
**One may remember the immense problems I had in keeping my apartment here.

Season of Hating, Pt III: Have a Fred Phelps Kind of Christmas - Righteously Arrogant and Sublimely Ridiculous

A Facebook event called “The Quran Roast of D.C.” had appeared earlier in the week. “This is the day america must stand up against islam and the islamic immigration which is illegally being implemented on our nation,” the event’s description said.

The organizers had invited more than 2,000 people to the event, and given Republican frontrunner Donald Trump’s gross rhetoric against Muslims, and the crowds he’s been drawing, it seemed possible that a good number of them might actually show up.

But the 70-plus confirmed attendees turned out to be more like six men, most of them dressed like bikers, and one middle-aged woman.