Editing Saint Sarah: Give The Guy A Gun To Shoot Himself

Yes, she's gone and written another pseudo-book, in pseudo-literary style. She had to, you see, because she is, after all, the gift that keeps on giving to late night talk show hosts and snarky writers like me. 

And yes, it's a "devotional." 

Joining the ranks of St. Theresa of Avila (The Way Of Perfection), The Book of Common Prayer, The Oxford Book of Prayer, and  Coffee With Jesus, Sarah Palin is penning one of the most noteworthy (if not collectable) inspirational books of modern times.  

That's how a fevered, overworked publicist might promote Sarah Palin's new book, Sweet Freedom: a Devotional, but a publicist less prone to use such overheated hyperbole just came up with this: 

Palin's book will include 260 meditations that use "biblical principles" to tackle contemporary issues, including economics, debt, social justice, marriage, parenting, human trafficking and more. 

The future publicist, however, may not have as much of a problem as Mrs. Palin's editor (or fleet of editors). Dealing with her, her commandment that absolutely nothing be edited in the first place because everyone wants to hear her unvarnished wisdom, her innovations ("Will the book light up? I read something about illuminated manuscripts.") and her insistence that God told her to write whatever she wanted. 

We can only guess what the editor has to struggle with. For example, the "list of meditations" might include:

I Can See God From My House

Meditating On The Divinity  Of A Mooseberger

The Bridge To Nowhere Was Really A Bridge To Somewhere In My Mind

Immaculate Conception Be Thou My Goal

Abstinence Is Not Only A Virtue, But A 

Divine Propaganda

and ...

The God-Given Brawl

And interspersed between these deep thoughts are Mrs. Palin's insights are absolutely de riguer on the matters of:

Economics: "Good economics starts at home - that's why every woman should take home economics courses in school." 

Marriage: "Children are the product of marriage. but marriage is not the product of children, unless there's a shotgun involved." 

Social Justice: "Whatever Glenn Beck hates"

Human trafficking: "It needs stoplights". 

Parenting: "Good parenting can't happen without good cash - and lots of it."

Before we take up a collection for the poor editor's psychiatry and hospital bills, we 

need to remind him/her that their profession was chosen - they were not born that way and they can choose to opt out of the project any time they want. 

I think I heard a door slam at Regnery.