Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Exorcising Ann Coulter: Ebola Comments Aren't As Effective As Laughter

"Christianity fuels everything I write. Being a Christian means that I am called upon to do battle against lies, injustice, cruelty, hypocrisy—you know, all the virtues in the church of liberalism".
Yes, that's Ann Coulter without air-brushing or the Fox News filter. Yes, that's Ann Coulter sporting her ubiquitous gold crucifix. No, that's not Ann Coulter trying to look human.

There are some things that even Ann Coulter cannot do.

I have been writing about Ann Coulter for over seven years (some posts below). Let's face it, her outrageous comments are infuriating enough to incite riots, let alone acidic prose in response. They are the stuff of righteous arrogance on crack and so stupefyingly mean-spirited as to question one's faith in humanity. All the facets of a contemptuous bitch who perversely considers them virtues.

And glories in the hatred she engenders against herself.

It is perhaps this iron-clad maiden, seemingly without a conscience, always begging for publicity, is too good for even the most blase writer to pass up: an addiction created by hypocrisy and venal interests so blatant that not to address her would seem inhuman. "Lies" "Injustice" "Cruelty" "Hypocrisy." With everything she's ever written (especially tweets), she herself covers the gamut of evils.

Exorcising A Demon Who Mocks God

For this writer, Ann Coulter has been almost impossible to exorcise from the brain: like a horrible image embedded in the psyche, Ann Coulter and her inhumanity can only be removed temporarily.

And concentrating on worst-person-in-the-world comments are not very effective. For example, while articles about Coulter's egregious ebola statements have gotten many page views, Coulter herself remains un-exorcised from my world. The demon who mocks God is a tough one.

And she does mock God: I've long posited that the only reason that crucifix hasn't burned a hole in her chest is because Ann Coulter's righteous arrogance oozes out of every pore in a gelatinous mass, hardening and forming a shield through which neither Jesus Christ nor any of his teaching could ever get through. At church, she tells God what to do.

So I have to pull out the heavy guns of ridicule (laughter) to erase Coulter for even a short while:

On her persona:

Ann Coulter Channels Margaret Sanger
Ann Coulter To Jesus: Fix Bethlehem First!
A Failed Test of Compassion:Whatever Ann Coulter has it's Worse Than Ebola
Ann Coulter's Condition Downgraded To Beyond Useless
Ann Coulter as evangelist: she turns prospective converts away from Christianity and toward a more compassionate ideology, like ISIS
If we took away the right to read, we'd still have to worry about Ann Coulter's fan base

On her vanity:

She can't go to England: Princess Ann would try to ride her.
Looking at her neck it reminds me to defrost the chicken.
Dude! You may look like a lady, but wear a damned turtleneck to hide that adam's apple!
She's what nature abhors - an old maid, a frozen asset.

And one of my own: Ann Coulter and this author actually have something in common: Phyllis Schlafly hates us both. I'm married to a man - and she isn't.

I feel better already.

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