Wacky Is As Wacky Does: Ten Crazy Christofascist Quotes From The Values Voter Summit.

Sen. Ted Cruz Easily Wins Values Voter Summit 2016 Presidential Straw Poll

That headline alone should tell you what last week's Values Voter Summit was like: it was really a Christofascist hate fest that brought about rousing applause from Tea Partiers, FOX News diehards and the American Family Association (a sponsor). It also brought about gaffaws and WTFs from the rest of the country.

By now, everyone on this political planet knows that Cruz was heckled (a lot), showing that there might have been some people in attendance with a modicum of brain cells, but the rest of the three-day show was littered with homophobia, misogyny, silly fits of righteous arrogance, and hyperbole fit for panderers to the Sun King.

The similes and metaphors were ridiculous to the extreme:

Ryan Bomberger: Homophobia Is A Myth, Gays Are Like Kleptomaniacs

“The absurdity of terminology like homophobia; so for the people who cohabitate, if you don’t agree with that behavior are you a cohabiphobic? Or if you disagree with someone who has a habitual stealing problem, are you a kleptophobic? That’s the insanity of this; tolerance demands anything but tolerance, just complete formality to someone’s sense of poll-driven morality.”

So FRC's Peter Sprigg is not homophobic because he wants every homosexual jailed? Bomberger's reasoning is certainly a bit twisted. Ooops, that makes me Brombergerphobic.

Jim Bob Duggar Compares US To Nazi Germany During The Holocaust

Everyone likes a good Holocaust story (except maybe Holocaust deniers), but Jim Bob Duggar* simply inserted a story for no other reason than it had the words "Nazi" and "Holocaust" in it.

In the hutzpa department, pundit Sandy Rios gave us these gems:

Anybody Know an Ex-Gay? They're Fabulous!

Rios has constantly given the number of ex-gays in the thousands. Nobody raised their hand.

The Matthew Shepherd Murder Was A Complete Fraud

This was thrown out to the audience simply because it was the 15th anniversary of Matthew Shepherd's death. She was basing here accusation on a recent book that has been questioned by journalists and family members alike.

Carson: Obamacare 'Is The Worst Thing That Has Happened In This Nation Since Slavery

As a black physician-politician, a FOX News "contributor", Benjamin Carson fits the bill for conservatives who need to seem intelligent and less racist. Unfortunately, Carson's hyperbole is so off base that any credibility seems remote. He also hates the possibility that somebody might be able to afford him.

Parker: Gay People And 'Enemies Of God' Should 'Keep It Private'

The problem with Star Parker: nothing is private. The former addict/prostitute plays her sordid past and conversion like violins - actually more like an entire symphony. Her born-again-ness has been worked to death, but it has not given her the right to tell anyone else to shut up.

Jackson: Next To Jesus, America Has Been 'The Greatest Blessing Given To Mankind'

E.W. Jackson is ratcheting up his campaign for Lieutenant Gov. of Virginia by giving American exceptionalism a boost. Now if he could just get rid of the "EEEW" factor of his other statements about gays and abortion, the man radical Right wingnuts consider "the future of conservatism" he might not be so far behind in the polls.

Santorum: Contraception Mandate Is A 'Descendant Of The French Revolution'

Rick Santorum's rant about how the French Revolution was based on Liberty (Good), Equality (Good) and Fraternity (Bad) and therefore Obamacare is insidiously bringing on another form of French Revolution is almost painful to watch. Your brain battles his phraseology to come up with a kernel of sense and loses.

Lila Rose Likens Her Anti-Abortion Activism To Malala Yousafzai

Did we say Sandy Rios had hutzpah? If she did, then Lila Rose had unmitigated gall - insulting unmitigated gall. Rose links Planned Parenthood to Satan and demonizes pro-choice people everywhere she goes. Yousafzai has a Ghandi-like quality that Rose cannot even begin to touch upon. 

Capping the crazy was, of course, the Queen of Christofascist Crazies, Michele Bachmann. Here is her now famous "Obamacare is Death Care" speech that will go down in the annals of ... whatever. 

*Jim Bob Duggar is the reality TV star of "Nineteen and Counting" wherein he and his wife show people how to properly and righteously overpopulate the earth.

Russians And Cookie Bakers Unite!! Betty Crocker Has Left The Fold And Gone Over To The Dark Side!

In possibly the most serious case of treason in the culture wars, Betty Crocker, that icon of the American family, has become, well, demonspawn. She has, as President Obama would have put it, "evolved."

It started one month ago, when the family-values icon offered free wedding cakes to Minnesota's gay couples:

The Advocate:

When Minnesota's marriage equality law went into effectAugust 1, the Minneapolis-based baking goods supplier Betty Crocker offered free wedding cakes to some of the happy, newly married gay and lesbian couples. A company spokesman said at the time that "Betty celebrates all families. … We don't want to be old-fashioned."

That was enough for noted homophobe Tony Perkins, president of the certified antigay hate group Family Research Council, to give up Betty's delicious confections for good. And now Perkins wants all his fellow conservatives to do the same.

Update: but if that wasn't enough, a Betty Crocker-sponsored video celebrating ALL families surfaced last Friday, and anyone who ever thought BC was the last bastion of matronly America is pissed.


To make matters even worse, the "evolution" takes place after it was discovered that the stalwart National Organization for Marriage (NOM) was influencing (aka "advising") Russian leaders in Russia's new anti-gay laws.

National Organization For Marriage president Brian Brown was heavily involved in France’s anti-gay protests that preceded the successful vote for same-sex marriage. Brown even bragged about it in NOM fundraising emails and on their website. And only after the French marriage bill passed did Brown finally denounce the frequent violence of the protesters he had touted. But while Brown was promoting his mission of hate in Paris, he was hiding another deep, dark voyage: his trip to Russia.

Just days before the Russian parliament passed a bill all but banning Russia’s 600,000 parentless children from being adopted by foreign same-sex couples, Brian Brown advised the Russian Duma (Congress) not only to pass the bill, but to not divorce marriage from the issue of adoption.

And now the Duma is considering legislation removing all children (adopted and biological) from same-sex families.

The Russia-Cookie Baker Connection

Bryan Fischer, the AFA's hater monger extraordinaire, has declared Russia's Vladimir Putin to be the new "Lion of Christianity." primarily because of Russia's stance against gays, especially gay adoption. And as the same-sex marriage debate winds down in the US, the question of same-sex parenting looms larger as the remaining battle against everything/anything gay. The focus has changed. The exported strategies of hate have changed.

But the hate remains the same.

Last weekend's Values Voters Summit reconfirmed the "social conservative" stance of "traditional values" even becoming misogynistic in voice:

RHReality Check.org:

But [Ben] Carson unleashed his harshest words on women who have abortions. “There’s no war on women,” Carson said. “There’s a war on their baby.” He explained it this way: “You know, there are those of us in this society who’ve told women that there’s a war on them because that cute little baby inside of them, they may want to get rid of it.” His evidence that there’s no war on women? The fact that people will give up a seat on the bus for a pregnant woman.

The fact that there is still a war on women in terms of unequal pay may be obscured by anti-abortion activists, but it still exists in the hearts of the conservatives like Phyllis Schlafly, the anti-feminist and staunch defender of women back-in-the-home. Today's job market is terrifying to them: in more than 40% of homes with children, working mothers are the breadwinners. The stay-at-home mom so easily represented by Betty Crocker, has become a thing of the past.
Marriage. Family. Betty Crocker. They're changing. The Christian Right doesn't like it.

Better to move on to Russia.

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Poor Evangelist. Poor Evangelism.

"Dear Neighbor:My name is May. I am a Bible student engaged in a worldwide volunteer service."

So began the letter to my late partner - misaddressed and two years too late. It was obviously gotten from some old list, but May's handwriting was pristine and the form letter was on not on any logo-headed stationary. It contained a Jehovah's Witness tract.


"God's 'right to rule' must be resolved. After that important issue has been resolved, humans will once again experience worldwide peace and tranquility."

I began to wonder if May experienced any peace or tranquility while sending this piece of evangelism. Of all the Christian sects, Jehovah's Witnesses are the most controlling: the righteous arrogance of the "one truth" forces believers to adhere to a very rigid code of conduct.

I began to feel sorry for May: if she is young, then she is in for years of benign contempt from other Christians if, indeed, they even consider her Christian. Righteous arrogance from within and contempt from without. That does not make for an existence of "peace and tranquility." Another reason for sympathy: May is dealing with the type of evangelism that is no longer effective: direct mailings and door-to-door proselytizing are considered nuisances - intrusions on daily living that involve Facebook, Twitter, YouTube ... and immediacy. If anything, proselytizing is scheduled - through televangelist programs and the local church blog.

And Fundamentalism is on the wane, unless you live in Uganda or Russia. 

"The righteous themselves will possess the earth, and they will reside forever upon it." That promise will be fulfilled.

I don't think so, May. Certainly not the ones who told you to do this kind of evangelizing.

The Call For A Violent Christian Uprising: It Had To Come Sooner Or Later

Update: And the video has been yanked from YouTube.

Right Wing Watch:

On yesterday's episode of "Prophetic Perspective on Current Events," Rick Joyner declared that democracy in America has failed and that the nation might not last even to the end of President Obama's term, warning that we are heading for a tyranny from which we can only be saved by a military takeover.

"There's no way our republic can last much longer," Joyner said, adding that "we're headed for serious tyranny" because the electoral system is so broken that the leaders we need who can save this nation will never win office. That is why "our only hope is a military takeover; martial law."

Calling for a takeover of the government can be looked upon as a form of treasonous rebellion, but in Rick Joyner's world, it's acting in the service of God. The correlation to Islamic fundamentalists is, of course, lost to him, but that's another story. The real story here is that Joyner is calling for violence, a justified Christian Jihad against the U.S. government and against its citizenry.

Some religionists claim that Joyner is really just an old fashioned necromancer since he references his talks with the dead. He certainly claims to have visited heaven enough - even to the extent that he had a conversation with the apostle Paul. So be it in the circles of Right Wing Christo-cretins. Cindy Japan-is-shaped-like-dragon Jacobs claims as much. The problem as I see it: Joyner has a wide following among the lunatic fringe who, with Joyner's coaxing, could cause some real bloodshed.

They Eat Elephants, Don't They? NRA Lobbyist Shoots Old Bull Elephant In The Face While Giving Right Wing Parties A Hole In The Head.

Update: NBC Canceled NRA-sponsored Program

NBC Sports Network was forced to respond to a flurry of criticism this week, after the internet caught wind of a show that depicts safari hunting for big game in Africa.
On Sunday, an episode of the National Rifle Association-sponsored "Under Wild Skies" aired, showing NRA lobbyist and host Tony Makris shooting and killing an elephant, and then celebrating over champagne.

The spectacle sparked vocal backlash, with criticism on social media and a petition at Causes.com that has since received more than 50,000 signatures.

Machismo suffered a blow last week when a noted NRA gun lobbyist was shown downing an old bull elephant in Botswana, then celebrating with champagne about the glorious feeling it gave him and his guide. And although the event happened last year, NBC's NRA-sponsored program, "Under Wild Skies" managed to air it - before Botswana's new anti-poaching law took effect in 2014.
Of course, Tony Makris had a bit to say after the bruhaha commenced, but it wasn't quite as coherent as the NRA would have wished: calling animal rights activists "animal racists", declaring that elephants were used to "feed hungry people", and sidestepping the issue of elephants as an endangered species, he managed to alarm NBC enough to cancel the program altogether (it previously stated that the lone segment would not be aired again).

Makris also stated that "we [NRA, etc.] are all anti-poaching" and that the "lunatic fringe wants all hunting to end."

"They don't realize that animal-lovers and hunters are on the same team."

To be fair, Makris was a typical NRA gun enthusiast, hawking the merits of the gun he used to shoot the elephant and he tried to mitigate his actions by saying that elephants provide food, but lobbyists like Makris aren't the brightest of gun rights apologists, and the machismo element of the video was all too clear.

NBC - NRA - WTF

From Treehugger

It was a series of bad decisions.

First, someone at NBC Sports thought it was a good idea to partner with the National Rifle Association on a sponsorship for a big game trophy hunting show called Under Wild Skies. Then they decided it'd be good to show Tony Makris, an NRA lobbyist, shoot an elephant in the face three times. And to make it worse, they showed the hunter and guide drink celebratory champagne while talking about the "specialness" of bringing the ivory back to camp.

NBC Sports obviously had a FOX moment in deciding to air "Under Wild Skies" featuring the likes of the NRA's Makris: Asian and African elephant conservation legislation is at an all-time high, no matter how good elephant meat tastes.* The celebration afterwards also smacked of ivory-poaching tolerance.

So much for being "on the same team" with animal lovers.

Politics As Usual?

The Right may have a hard time digesting this one since hardliners like Ted Nugent will be out to defend Makris's actions and they have been trying to soften an image of anti-everything remotely liberal (John Beohner and Paul Ryan excepted). They certainly can't defend shooting even moderately endangered species without looking foolish and can't afford to butt heads with the MSM over the shooting of a mascot of conservatism. Even Teabaggers may shy away from the NRA over the issue (although they haven't shown to be the brightest political bulbs on the planet).

The ravings of Wayne LaPierre have given the Right enough headaches without having lobbyists shooting real holes in their political turn-to-moderate agenda.


*Ironically like moose, so Sarah Palin should be outraged at the cancellation of the show as well. BTW: it's considered an aphrodisiac in Thailand, but non-Thai's have seen no difference in performance.

The Other Haitian Disaster: A Volcano of Hate Erupts, Killing Two Men While Sparing Thousands Of The Self-Righteous

"Gay people will curse our country and we already have curses."

I hate to say it, but Pat Robertson may have been right: Haiti is an island that is cursed. Cursed with hate. Good old fashioned Christian Right hate, but hate nonetheless.

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti — Two men, assumed to be gay, were beaten and killed on Friday during an anti-gay protest in Haiti led by religious organizations.
According to one Haitian newspaper, some protestors, who shouted anti-gay marriage slogans and homophobic slurs, were also armed with knives, sticks, blocks and other objects, and attacked several people they accused of being gay.

And it took 3 hours for the police to respond to the situation.

Back in January of 2010, Pat Robertson said that Haiti suffered "terrible things" (and a devastating earthquake) because its leaders had signed a pact with the devil back in the 18th century. What Pat meant by "terrible things" was meshed in his addled reasoning, but people took the phrase as "cursed".


Maybe it is: cursed with ignorance, self-righteousness ... and hate. The below video is in Haitian-French, but the distorted faces and anger need no translation. Some of them were reported to shout "We'll kill them. Destroy them. We don't need that in this country."

The rally was a response to a proposal by a gay rights group to Parliament to legalize same-sex marriage. It was brought together by Protestant and Muslim faith-based groups, threatening to burn down parliament if the measure was considered.

Like Jamaica, Haiti is virulently anti-gay and many people fear for their lives and cannot report hate crimes for fear of reprisal by their own government.

Enter Francis?

The fact that the one thousand protesters were Protestant (amid some Muslims) is indicative of American Christian Right influence in Haiti since most Haitians are Catholic, so whether or not pope Francis I will respond to the violence may well be moot. Should his ecumenism dictate a response? Probably, but Francis has yet to reach out to the American Christian Right community (Evangelicals, Southern Baptists, etc) and he may well think it wise not to cast aspersions on anyone yet.

The World Mourned But God's Ambulance Chasers Rejoiced

During the chaotic and pestilential aftermath of the earthquake, it was noted that religious groups attempted to come into the country with more than food and medical supplies. One group tried to set up automated "talking bibles" ($100,000) broadcasting the word of God among the starving and medically unkempt. Some of them adamantly stayed on, rejoicing that they had an audience - however captive it night seem. Despite the obvious criticism, they made inroads in some areas of the country and, much like Scott Lively (Uganda's "Kill the gays" bill instigator), they began to sow the seeds of hostility.

Huffington Post's Paul Raushenbush:

It started at the Haiti earthquake. Robertson's explanation was that God sent this earthquake because of a "pact with the devil" the Haitians had made to throw off the oppression of the French. Robertson reminded us that our patience with religious leaders who talk such nonsense has run out.

Unfortunately, some in Haiti have been more patient than the rest of the western hemisphere: they've accepted the Christian Right's focus on hatred and superstition, self-righteousness and bigotry. How long this will last in the impoverished country, few have any idea: look at Uganda, Rwanda, Nigeria, Moldava, and Russia.

Love has a long, long way to go in these countries.

The Week Certifiably Batsh*t Crazy Conservatives Came Out To Play

There is crazy, and then there is batshit crazy.* America is full of batshit crazy people, but social conservatives seem to have cornered the market. Maybe it's heady, vainglorious sense of righteousness, or maybe it's just the steady, hypnotic beat of the bible thumpers, but social conservatives (actually the Christian Right as it likes to be known - a crazy, almost oxymoronic concept in itself) seem to have more than their share of the ridiculous and unreasoning. 

Yes, they are entertaining in their quest for an audience (which is why most people quote them), but their wild fantasies, dire proclamations, bizarre reasoning and horrendous use of metaphors are oddly disturbing: do they live on another planet? Do they pay attention at all to what people are saying about them? Do they care what people are thinking about them? Maybe it is their profound sense of displacement that entertains people. Who knows?

'Prophet' Cindy Jacobs Binds Demons On Airplane Passengers

Yes, Cindy Jacobs helps rid fellow airplane passengers while they are sleeping by "binding" together demons and literally casting them out into the abyss - or down to Orlando, FL (the place that missed Pat Robertson's meteor).

Muslims To Remotely Change All Of Your Car Radio Presets To ShariaRock Top 40 Stations. Then Kill You.

"Cyber terrorism expert" Morgan Wright explained to Jenna Lee of FOX News that some day, all the little computers installed in your car may be hacked by Al Queda and send you careening into a Taco Bell. The Firedog Lake take on the interview is indeed outrageous, but not as outrageous as the actual clip (see below) nor as unbelievable as Jenna Lee's sincerity.

Bachmann Puts Black Leather On, Talks About 'Spanking' Obama

Spanking POTUS is not mentioned in James Dobson's pseudo-seminal work on child-rearing, Dare To Discpiline, but since Bachmann says that Obama has a "magic wand" when it comes to getting what he wants (out of what?), we can see where here fantasies lie.

Pat Robertson: Zimmerman Was Right To Follow Trayvon Martin Because ‘Criminals Wear These Hoods’

Straight from Planet Vomit, Pat Robertson once again shows just how little he knows about racial profiling - or about America's taste in apparel.

Bryan Fischer, Anti-Gay Spokesperson: Claims Army Overrun By 'Hypermasculine Homosexuals'

The leader of all things bigoted, Bryan Fischer has switched from portraying gays as effete, effeminate (but highly effective) lobbyists, to Teutonic Rambos on steriods bent on destroying the U.S. military. That's what Hitler did, didn't he?

Rick Wiles: 'Raw Satanic Sewage Coming Up Out Of Hell' Ran Through The Streets Of Austin During Abortion Legislation Protests 

Rick Wiles went over-the-top in describing protests to the draconian anti-abortion legislation then heating up in the Texas legislature.

"These demons weren't hiding behind bushes, they were out in the street; they were in the streets possessing the people who were demanding the right to murder babies...The sewer pipes of Hell have broken open and this is raw hate against Jesus Christ, against God, against the Bible, against righteous men and women, against life, against anything that is good and decent."

Scatological references from a man of God! What is this world turning into? Batshit maybe?

DL Foster: Pro-Gay Christians 'Just Like Slave Owners' and 'Jim Crow Racists' 

"Ex-homosexual Abolitionist" Foster has also had the temerity (or stupidity) to depict himself over a Harriet Tubman "wanted poster." Foster's stance as an "ex-gay" has (unfortunately) always been in question since it has been posited that he was never gay in the first place. His righteous indignation towards gays is anything but compassionate.

The batshit crazies seemed to be out in full force last week, but hold on - they may continue:

Cindy Jacobs: God Told Me He's Going To Punish America For Gay Marriage

The Lord spoke to Cindy Jacobs and told her that there was "goin' to be a whole lotta shakin' goin' on": in response to "criticism" for Jacobs' "doom and gloom" prophecies, Jacobs stated yesterday that as a prophet, she must tell people what she sees and what the lord has told her. She did not say that the "criticism" was actually a summons to the Batshit Crazy Hall of Fame.

*Urban Dictionary:
A person who is batshit crazy is certifiably nuts. The phrase has origins in the old fashioned term "bats in the belfry." Old churches had a structure at the top called a belfry, which housed the bells. Bats are extremely sensitive to sound and would never inhabit a belfry of an active church where the bell was rung frequently. Occasionally, when a church was abandoned and many years passed without the bell being rung, bats would eventually come and inhabit the belfry. So, when somebody said that an individual had "bats in the belfry" it meant that there was "nothing going on upstairs" (as in that person's brain). To be BATSHIT CRAZY is to take this even a step further. A person who is batshit crazy is so nuts that not only is their belfry full of bats, but so many bats have been there for so long that the belfry is coated in batshit. Hence, the craziest of crazy people are BATSHIT CRAZY.